Long time, no gripe! Enjoying a glass of Villa Maria sauvignon blanc and feeling a gripe coming on.

Saw Skyfall. Thought it illustrated three problems plaguing films these days perfectly. Script writers, take note.

1) What’s with the plots of Twist with a Twist, With a Twist on the Second Twist Added, with a Bit of a Twist at the End? It is tiresome to have endless “But wait! That’s not it at all!” moments.

2) You can apparently explain away every single oddity and impossibility and thing that makes no sense in the story by saying You See He Hacked a Computer. Oh you see the computer predicted – a year ago! – what a person would do in these circumstances today by using a Really Nifty Algorithm! Oh you see the computer was used to blow stuff up in a place where no one can go! Oh you see he hacked a computer and reprogrammed the laws of physics!

3) Thou Shalt Not Make a Film That Runs for Longer than 120 Minutes. Never, ever, ever. By 120 minutes the viewer’s butt is numb and s/he needs the loo. If you cannot tell your story in less than two hours, write another one.